The more I have been thinking about it, the fewer stories I think I can actually tell and keep my job. I'd like to keep my job, partially because without it, I can't buy anything to review. So with that in mind, I do have a story I can share. I only wish I had taken photos to serve as proof and to commemorate this odd event. (All images are photoshopped simulations of the events that took place on September 1.)
We are driving back to Brooklyn from the Bronx when we are stuck at an intersection. Out of nowhere a small dog jumps out into the barely moving traffic in front of us.
(This isn't the dog. But the dog looked like this. Totally defenseless and really little.)Then out of nowhere, a GIANT BLACK AND WHITE CAT starts beating the crud out of the little dog. It went a little something like this.
(Not the actual cat. This is my cat, Scout, who enjoyed attacking his dog brothers, but only when they deserved it. The cat on the street had an attitude similar to Scout in this photo. Bad. )
Thwack! Thwack! Thwack! arf. Hiss! MEROOOWWW arf. arf. Thwack! woof. arf!
The owner grabbed the dog by the leash and lifted him up into his arms. (Sidenote. Don't ever do that. Would you like to be picked up by a collar? Even if there was a harness, it still isn't cool, so don't do it.) The cat continued to LEAP at the dog, trying to thwack it some more.
A guy runs out of a store and grabs the cat. The cat starts to thwack the owner in the face and desperately try to get out of his arms. The guy goes back into the store, which is marked only by several large Chinese characters and pictures of hamsters, birds, snakes, dogs and cats. Since I don't read or speak Chinese (although I did learn to say "thank you" on my journey), I have no idea what that store sold. I can only guess.
Then the cat breaks free from the grip of its owner and runs back into the street to start kicking the dog's butt again. The owner hadn't left, but instead, stayed at the scene of the crime to commiserate with other looky-loos. The cat came back up behind the unsuspecting dog and started punching him again, while the owner tried to pick the dog up and fight off the surprise attack simultaneously. Finally, the store owner came out again and grabbed the cat.
Then the light changed and we moved on. The sedan driver looked into the rear view mirror and said, in a classic Brooklyn accent, "You see that? Even the cats in Brooklyn are tough. "
That was only at 11am. Watching interspecies violence was only one of the odd dog-related things to happen that day. There are a few things I have promised my Mom I won't do. One of them is make friends with people who "work" on "corners". (Again. In college, I have fond memories of befriending the guys who "worked" at the gas station. They had my back, which came in handy on more than one occasion.)
But what surprised my co-workers (and will annoy the pants off of my Mom, if she still reads this) in the following story is this. Earlier that morning, back in the Bronx, my co-workers wondered where I had gone. It wasn't a safe neighborhood and we were under the strictest of orders to only travel in pairs when not with our guard. They thought I had disappeared when they looked out of the window to find me making out with a pit bull which belonged to a guy "working" on the corner.
The dog, turns out, was super sweet, once again proving that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. And for what it's worth, the corner guys were nice as well. I don't think I will be returning to shoot their video as they requested, but I would have probably taken one of the baby pits they were giving away if Loxy wouldn't have killed me. Or at least yelled really, really loudly. It wasn't the first time I made out with a strange breed others run from (which, by the way, is the one surefire way to get a dog to chase you). And it won't be the last.
(I might be married to this pit bull from last October. He didn't put a ring on it, so I assume I wasn't officially cheating on him in the Bronx.)
I was away from home for a week. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
Photo credits: Me, Super Anne, My friend Kathy, whom I steal photos from willy-nilly and this website.
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